Everyone’s got a TOP WHATEVER column. You know the type… a list of arbitrary best ofs, worst ofs, or does it really matter ofs. Well, TrunkSpace didn’t want to be left out, so we decided to come up with our own JUST ANOTHER $@!#*? LIST COLUMN. Whereas other lists on other sites may have a point, rest assured, ours will have none.
This time out we’re rolling the dice, spinning the wheel, and cursing ourselves through another defeat as we celebrate…
THE TOP FIVE GAMES WE LOVED TO HATE PLAYING WITH OUR LYING, CHEATING, NO GOOD SIBLINGS
Everything about this game, from the colorful packaging to the catchy jingle, was meant to be fun, but make no mistake about it, playing this game with older brothers and sisters was (and probably is) pure misery. The premise is simple enough, build a mouse trap together and then turn on each other like hungry rats in a cage as you attempt to capture your opponents’ plastic mice. The reality was a little different however, because ultimately this game is a Rube Goldberg exercise in sibling torture.
The Original (SHARP) Lawn Darts
Definitely a generational game because as soon as people realized (as if it wasn’t obvious right away) that these were essentially weapons with a smile, they pulled them from the market and made them kid-friendly. Of course, when they were available in their deadly form, the game most often played around our house was “You Run Around In That Circle As I Throw These Up Over Your Head And We See How Close They Come To Hitting You When They Land.” The answer was always too close for comfort.
An easy and fun game that anybody could play anywhere – all you needed were hands to tag with and a group of kids hopped up sugar. (Thanks Fla-vor-ice!) Only problem was, the youngest kid in the game never really had a good time because once tagged and frozen, nobody was willing to unfreeze you. There you stood, a pathetic statue, promising yourself that one day you’d get even, but unfortunately, tag becomes obsolete eventually and you remain awkwardly frozen in your memories forever.
An entire episode of “Seinfeld” once centered around the book “War and Peace” and how it was (mistakenly) described to have the original title, “War, What Is It Good For?” Elaine Benes may have made a literary misstep there, but had she called this horrid, time-wasting card game “War, What Is It Good For?” instead of the Tolstoy classic, we’d be running into battle alongside of her. Seriously, there’s only one “game” that can be “played” with a deck of cards that’s worse than this one and that’s 52 Pickup. No. Just no.
NBA Jam (SNES)
“He’s on fire!” is a phrase that continues to haunt us in the tortured recesses of our minds to this day. Mashing buttons and spiking the controller into the carpet did little to tip the score in our favor and yet we still always thought there was a chance for us, as if the SNES gods would be smiling down upon us JUST ONCE. But no, they apparently only wanted us getting dunked on – over and over and over and over again.
Stupid humans. So much hope when it comes to sibling rivalry. So little cause for game-based celebration.