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Just Another $@!#*? Column

THE TOP FIVE BURGERS THAT AREN’T ACTUAL BURGERS

Everyone’s got a TOP WHATEVER column. You know the type… a list of arbitrary best ofs, worst ofs, or does it really matter ofs. Well, TrunkSpace didn’t want to be left out, so we decided to come up with our own JUST ANOTHER $@!#*? LIST COLUMN. Whereas other lists on other sites may have a point, rest assured, ours will have none.

This time out we’re putting all the fixin’s on our latest list and slapping it between two buns as we look at…

THE TOP FIVE BURGERS THAT AREN’T ACTUAL BURGERS

BurgerTime
As chef Peter Pepper, you controlled your own fast food destiny. Make burgers. Score points. RULE THE WORLD!

Or at the very least, get some arcade bragging rights to go along with your cherry-flavored FreeZee.

Hamburger Hill
Actual Battle of Hamburger Hill aside… which is never a fun thing to glorify considering hundreds of people lost their lives… the 1987 film starring Don Cheadle, Dylan McDermott, and Steven Weber (shameless link plug) was an HBO staple for those of us who grew up glued to the television and watching movies far too mature for our young minds. No, you couldn’t eat this burger, but you could eat a burger while watching this burger. Next best thing.

Nothing Burger”
Politics have taken over our world. News anchors have become pop culture celebrities. And the term “nothing burger” has entered the mainstream lexicon thanks to political commentator Van Jones. Now every time a new scandal breaks, someone is saying that said scandal is nothing but a nothing burger, BUT, isn’t a burger that is nothing still something?

Gregg Berger
Voiceover actor Gregg Berger isn’t a household name, but the characters he has brought to life since he started his career in the early 80s are. How’s this for a list? Odie (Garfield), Grimlock (Transformers), Firefly (G.I. Joe), Mysterio (Spider-Man), and Cornfed Pig (Duckman). And that’s just the tip of the voiceover iceberg! This is one prolific Berger!

Burgerdier General
Every neighborhood had that one kid in it who owned every toy imaginable. (He was basically the real world version of Ricky from Silver Spoons.) We’d wager that it was those nonfictional Rickys who bought Mattel’s 1989 action figure line Food Fighters. His toy-filled house was the only place you ever got to choose sides… Kitchen Commandos or Refrigerator Rejects… in the ultimate food fight. And because they were his toys, he always got to be the burger. DAMN YOU, RICKY!

Tags : Burger TimeBurgerdier GeneralBurgersFood FightersGregg BergerHamburger HilllistsNothing BurgerVan Jones
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